Cooler Dirt

We were having a discussion the other night, and the topic of Mel Gibson came up.  No, not for the reasons you’re thinking.  (Well, probably because of those reasons.)  We were talking about his Lethal Weapon movies when the topic of the ‘revenge fantasy’ came up.

A common thread or theme found in many films, the revenge fantasy caters to that urge in all of us when we feel we have been wronged and want to pay the wrongdoer back and fantasize about how that retribution would be, how it would feel.  (See movies like The Brave One, Man on Fire, Defiance, etc.)  It arises in many contexts, from the schadenfreude we feel when someone else fails, to the conversations we have with ourselves when we think up the perfect comeback line to say after someone has insulted us and the opportunity has passed.  (”Well the jerkstore called and they’re running out of you!”)

Now, we don’t want to psychoanalyze anyone.  Apart from being grossly unqualified and in every other way not a psychologist, we never the less think there’s something to our observations.  The Basics are this:  Mel Gibson likes revenge. As an actor, he seems to play roles in which the character has a strong desire for revenge.  These characters go on to kill and deal out violence.

If nothing else, it causes us to ask why?  Is Mr. Gibson drawn to these characters because the emotion/impulse resonates with him, or that it’s one he can easily identify with?  Does he just happen to get these parts with strong revenge fantasy elements?  Is he fighting an urge in himself by letting his rage out in a constructive environment?   Is it all of these?

We don’t know, but it makes for an intersting conversation topic.  Take a look at the evidence. Here is a list of some of the Mel Gibson movies that have the revenge fantasy present:

1.  Lethal Weapon 2: Though less prominent in the other films of this series, this film is all about revenge.  Riggs (Gibson’s character) finds out that the bad guys are not only responsible for killing his girlfriend, but also his wife.  Revenge ensues.

2.  Hamlet: Depressed prince finds out Uncle killed dad and married mom.  Revenge ensues.

3.  Braveheart: Scottish clansman William Wallace gets married to his childhood sweetheart whom the English then kill.  Revenge ensues.

4.  Ransom: Millionaire airline owner’s son is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded.  Gibson’s character gets the ransom but instead uses it as a bounty on the kidnappers’s heads.  Personal and third party revenge ensues.

5.  Payback: Ok, we never saw this one, but it’s got ‘payback’ as the title.  We’re guessing the plot goes like this:  Gibson’s character is wronged.  He goes to get….wait for it…payback.  Revenge (and payback!) ensue.

6.  The Patriot: Former extremely violent guy (Gibson) lives peacefully on his farm until the English kill his son.  Bloody revenge (lots and lots and lots of it) ensues.

7.  Paparazzi: Mr. Gibson didn’t star in this film, but he did  produce it, have a cameo and got his former hairdresser to direct it.   In it a star is hassled by paparazzi.  After a car accident is caused by the paparazzi’s flashing their cameras at the star (where did they get that idea?), the star decides to kill him some paparazzi.  Revenge ensues.

Mr. Gibson has been in a lot of other movies (and has directed or been part of the production of many more), but this list at least gives you an idea of what we’re talking about.  I’m sure if we tried, we could find a lot of other revenge elements in his other films.  We just thought these seemed fairly obvious.

The revenge fantasy is a particularly primitive instinct, isn’t it?  Freud said that civilization started when the first person chose to hurl an insult rather than a stone. It seems that some people still very much like the idea of hurling stones.  Or at least shoting people, hacking them to death or burning them alive.

But hey, it’s all just a fantasy.  Right?

(Photo courtesy EAWB’s flickr page through Creative Commons.  Thanks, EAWB!)

Books, Movies, TV, Music and Art conversation, conversation topic, conversations, personal

It seems like every time we start talking about movies, someone brings up the Academy Awards.   We like the Oscars, we do.  We like to think about what movies were good, what movies were bad, and which ones we think were better than the rest.  (Though we don’t really think all movies are equal, or should be judged equally.)

Our problem with the Academy Awards though, is not about them specifically.  People can make up any award they want.  Super.  Have at it.  Go nuts.

No, what troubles us about the Oscars is the impact it has upon discussing movies.  Here’s what we mean;

1.  Sycophantic Explosions: Movies are great entertainment. They are art. They are enjoyable, thought provoking and capable of changing the way you view the world.  They are also the surest way to get someone to claim that a person involved in the film industry is astonishing/amazing/unbelievable/brilliant/tremendous/possessed of unearthly intelligence/a once in a century genius, etc.  Our point is this: why do we pile praise upon films, or actors, or those involved with film making so effortlessly?  Why do some people feel the need to adore and gush over actors or filmmakers?  Why does an actor’s performance or a director’s work have to be praised with ‘I hope they get an Oscar‘?  Isn’t it enough to say you enjoyed the movie, or that it made you think, or cry, or laugh?

2.  The End of Existence: Discussing what is good or bad about a movie, what you like or don’t like, all that makes for wonderful conversation.  But when someone wins an Academy Award, this fact is often brought up as if it is the single greatest achievement in human existence.  “Well, they did win an Oscar.”  Congratulations to them.  Being recognized is wonderful, and as movies are such a popular medium, we can see why the Oscars get so much attention. But is there nothing a person can do or achieve that will bring about a sense of awe in the faces of their peers as winning an award for making a movie? Is this the ultimate achievement, so much so that it has to be treated with almost reverential awe?

3.  The Removal of the Personal: Movies, books, music, any art is experienced on a personal level. That one person gets something from it is one thing, that the work reaches a wide audience and resonates strongly with it is another.  The only way to evaluate a film is by what you think of it, what effect it had on you.  That awarding an Oscar to an actor or movie often causes people to think differently about that film, even if they’ve seen it and already formed an opinion, seems ridiculous.  If authority has be given from on high, you should now like/dislike/fawn over the movie in questions?   Rubbish. Saying a movie was great because it won an Oscar is like saying a meal tasted great because the chef said it did.

It may sound lie we’re down on the Oscars, but we’re not.  Not at all.  But it has been our experience that people who use the Oscars as basis of their conversations about film usually leave us wanting.  Be it layman or professional film reviewer, we’ve found that best film conversations come from those who watch the movies on their own terms, not on those of the people who vote for the Academy Awards.

(Photo courtesy hellochris’s Flickr page, through Creative Commons  license.  Thanks, hellochris!)

Books, Movies, TV, Music and Art book, books, conversation, conversations, music, personal

A conversation came up the other day about DVD’s.  Specifically, why do we own them?

You may have experienced the following phenomena:  You are watching television when you come across a movie that is just about to start.  You happen to own the movie on DVD, but for some reason you sit and watch it anyway.

Why? In your mind you know that you can watch it at any time.  Why watch the movie now?

After a brief discussion, we came up with the following reasons:

1.  It’s easier: Yes, it isn’t very hard to get up and go to your DVD player, place the movie in the tray and hit play, but it is more than pressing the channel button.

2.  It’s disposable: Something on TV isn’t permanent, it’s disposable.  You can turn it off and not give it a second thought.  If you stop the DVD, you have to get up, remove it from the player and place it back in its case/rack, etc.

3.  You don’t feel obligated: If you take the time and effort to pick a movie out of your DVD collection, place it in the player and start it, you feel an obligation to watch it.  Yes, you can pause it at any point, but you’ve gone through all the work and built an expectation in your mind that ‘Yes, I am going to commit to watching this now.’   It’s very different than finding a movie on a channel and setting the remote down.

All of this brought up another point: the digital revolution.   With the advent of digital technology (the access and recording of information into a digital format), all manner of media is becoming easily transferable and more portable.  Music, movies, books, photographs, you name it.  You can have it all on your computer, your Ipod, your cell phone.

How long will it be before you carry all of this on a Star-Trek like handheld device?  You may only have to carry around something like your cell phone to have access to all of these things.  You could play your movies wirelessly on your TV screen, or send your music to your stereo, or have your picture frames show changing images of your children.    With sites like HULU, you might be able to go online, click on the movie you want and watch it instantly, anywhere in your house.

So will DVD’s go the way of the 8-track or laser disk?  Clearly, yes.  But what they, or their successors, may be replaced with is…nothing.  At least, nothing physical.  With data being conveyed digitally at an increasing speed and with more and more ease, how long will it be before we all have personal tricorders that have access to every piece of media ever created?

And what happens after that?

(Photo courtesy john a ward’s flickr page through creative commons license.  Thanks, john a ward!”

Books, Movies, TV, Music and Art, technology book, books, conversation, music, personal, tech, technology

Personality tests have been around for a while, and are widely used by businesses, schools and even religious groups.  A few friends of mine and I recently had a conversation about these tests and whether or not they are worth anything.

Some argue that many personality tests cater strongly to the Forer Effect, that tendency of people to view positive, yet vague, assessments of themselves as highly accurate.   This effect is often used by charlatans, astrologers and others of questionable scruples as their way to entice new victims.

The premise is simple: say something flattering about a person and they will believe you to be smart.  If you take it a step further and say the flattery is derived from a test or other diagnostic tool, they’ll believe that the tool is not only accurate, but useful for determining what that person would do, how they should act, etc.

Further confounding this is the evidence.  Many, if not most or even all, personality tests (even the widely used ones) have little reliability or predictive value.  Basically that means that if you take the test more than once, you’ll get a different result, and if you use it to try to predict your behavior, you won’t get it right.

So why take these tests at all? Why take a useless, or at best questionable test, if there is little reason to believe it is worth anything?

Well for one, because they are fun.  We all like to hear nice things about ourselves, and the promise of a test telling us what how great and special we are caters to our ego’s.  But it also allows us a moment of introspection.  Many of us spend the majority of our days in pursuit of something, we have little time to turn our attention towards less immediate tasks.  A little time spent thinking might do us some good.

So here is a basic personality test you can take that might allow you that moment of introspection.  It may prove useful, or it may be worthless.

But no matter how it turns out, it is fun to think about.

(Photo courtesy Thomas Hawk’s Flickr page through Creative Commons license.  Thanks, Thomas Hawk!)

Testing, Tuedsay, Testing conversation, friends, personal, personality, science, survey, testing

We were having a discussion several days ago, and the topic of arranged marriages arose, mostly because one of us was recently informed by his parents that they had found him a suitable, albeit potential, mate.  (He’s from India, where arranged marriages are much more common than they are in the United States and other western cultures.)

Everyone else in the group thought the idea was about as appealing as canine airline pilots, but after a brief discussion, several of us began seeing the potential upside of such practices.  Of course, none of us wanted to be set up for marriage, but the process itself seemed insightful.  Here’s why we thought it seemed interesting, and why it would make for a good conversation starter:

1.  Your Family Knows you Like Everyone Else:  We all see ourselves differently than everyone else does, simply because we are the only person living in our own heads.  We experience the world through our perceptions and our thoughts, while everyone else experiences us through only their perceptions.  They don’t have our thoughts to help/taint their observations.  Because of this, your view of yourself is necessarily different than how everyone else views you.  Since finding a partner requires you to be with someone else, you may be less better suited to determine who you are suited for (since you have your thoughts getting in the way) than those who, like your potential mate, can only judge you according to their perceptions.

2.  Your Family and Friends Know Your Strengths: Your family has known you all your life.  (Well, mostly.)  Your friends and coworkers have been around you as an adult.  Taken together, this group of people probably knows a good deal about how you behave, with whom you have rapport and what kind of people you get along with. They are in a good position to know who would be good for you, or what kind of person brings out your best side.

3.  Your Family and Friends Know Your Weaknesses : Conversely, your family and friends are also around you at your worst times. You may pride yourself on your even temper, but if you are temparamental and easy to anger, it is your family and friends who are better suited to judging you objectively.  We all harbor illusions about ourselves, but when someone else looks at us, they do so without the self interest involved.  Yes, your family and friends love you and don’t want to hurt you, but if you ask them to take the time and genuinely think about what kind of person would be good for you, your flaws will come into the picture.

Now, none of this makes us want to be set up for a blind marriage, only meeting the person on our wedding day.  But it does make us think.

How often do we tell ourselves something, or believe something about ourselves that isn’t accurate? When finding a mate, how can we get past these potential roadblocks and find someone that fits our real personality, and not just our ego.

If anything, family and friends telling you what kind of person you appear to them to be is valuable enough.  Forming the decision to marry on that kind of information has got to be at least somewhat helpful.

Doesn’t it?

(Photo courtesy Kumon’s Flickr page, rights granted through Creative Commons.  Thanks, Kumon!)

Relationships arranged marriage, conversation, conversation starter, family, friends, good conversation, life, love, marriage, personal, science, tech, wedding